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Exploring wellbeing through the grammar of being well

So often we link wellness to adjectives of positivity. The smiley-face emojis, the sun on the cloud-to-rainbow chart, the inspirational goals we are told to set ourselves, ‘don’t worry, be happy’. It’s a clear trajectory from ‘bad’ to ‘good’ and a linear pipeline to wellbeing. In emphasizing only good, as ‘good-enough’, we are already setting the bar high, as just sustaining good can be exhausting. Yet, in a neo-liberal, competitive, capitalist society, ‘good’ on its own is actually rarely enough. We are constantly looking for ‘better’ and then ‘best’.   To be ‘better’ is to compare ourselves constantly against others. This comes at a risk to wellbeing. In trying to be ‘better’ there is a suggestion that there may be something wrong within us, something that needs ‘fixing’. Yet, if we subscribe to the concept of neurodiversity, and embrace the neurodiversity paradigm, we understand that each of us navigates and interacts with the world in uniquely dynamic and fluid ways. A sing...
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Defining the meaning of community, or when no one should be cast adrift!

A muted colour pallet of beige, blue, orange and peach, that represents a beach, the sea, hills in the background and the sky. There is a single person walking on the beach, casting a shaddow

Organisations that profess to represent a given community must at all costs work to include all voices within that community. Mattering is an important factor for wellbeing, achieved through higher levels of fairness (Prilleltensky et al., 2023). Anything less is disingenuous, goes against the common good, and at its worst, dangerous!

When not all community voices are heard and valued, the community ethic is already exclusionary. The unwritten message is, 'We value only certain members of our community. We decide what our community looks like. We have the power and we are in control." This approach risks establishing a narrative of "us versus them," creating a division within the community that is likely to lead to tension, breakdown, and harm. 

When not all community voices are heard and valued, the ability to grow and to learn from and alongside others is also drastically reduced. This approach risks defining the identity of a community too narrowly, thereby limiting the potential for genuine acceptance, belonging, and connection among all its members. Think of the insights and learning that are missed, and never, ever known about in the first place. Think also of those who hold back, 'mask', whether consciously or not, just trying to keep fitting in. Wellbeing for many is likely to suffer. 

Such communities have lost the spirit of community, the essence of what that means. If the community isn't working for just one member, the community isn't working at all: every voice matters! To then want to expand and grow on such questionable foundations, simply leads to further risk. These communities are like ships sailing in a storm of their own making, the crew and passengers setting their faith in the captain, perhaps unaware of the dangers of the course set and the integrity of the space they are in. Inevitably, some of these communities will sink, not before setting many adrift, whilst exposing those who remain to untold collateral damage and harm.

Work to understand and hear, value and be fair to all community voices is integral, essential and primary to both the safety and identity of a community. There should be no excuses here about timing, or commitments or expertise. Communities that openly advertise, publicise and speak on being neuro-affirmative, and that align with the neurodiversity paradigm, must pay particular attention here. It is not simply enough to use these words. It is about respecting that "neurodiversity is a natural and valuable form of human diversity." (Walker, 2014). In essence, we are always going to be working with different people and different experiences of the world and this benefits everyone. A community that aims to support all its members, must work hard to embrace difference.

There are of course ways to help. First is having the humility to recognise when something is not working. Not blaming, and shaming the most vulnerable, often most at risk of exclusion from the community, but deep work, thinking always about the value that everyone brings. This may take time, but is achievable in simple, yet powerful ways, for example, "holding the space" (Chapple, 2024). Learning to listen and being sensitive to all experiences are essential humanistic skills for the success of community wellbeing (McGreevy et al., (2024)).

True community is about caring, connection and love for all members, no one is cast adrift. It involves valuing every single person for who they are, what they bring, and the learning and synergy that comes from those interactions. A community that says they welcome all, but admits that membership is only possible for some, fails to be a community, and fails to offer community. Those who fit are welcome; difference is excluded by design.


References

Chapple, E. (2024, August 10). When we prioritise the middle, #human space, we make room for everyone. All humans are innately different. Our differences make. [Thumbnail with link] [Post]. LinkedIn. https://www.linkedin.com/posts/elly-chapple_human-flipthenarrative-activity-7228153408950587393-hKAR?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_desktop&rcm=ACoAABCzMEgBxoz1vfw9QR1LT7qmQlI08YbmoD8

McGreevy, E., Quinn, A., Law, R., Botha, M., Evans, M., Rose, K., Moyse, R., Boyens, T., Matejko, M., & Pavlopoulou, G. (2024). An Experience Sensitive Approach to Care With and for Autistic Children and Young People in Clinical Services. Journal of Humanistic Psychology, 0(0). https://doi.org/10.1177/00221678241232442

Prilleltensky, I., Scarpa, M. P., Ness, O., & Di Martino, S. (2023). Mattering, wellness, and fairness: Psychosocial goods for the common good.American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 93(3), 198–210. https://doi.org/10.1037/ort0000668

Walker, N. (2014). Neurodiversity: Some basic terms and definitions. Neuroqueer: The writings of Dr. Nick Walker. https://neuroqueer.com/neurodiversity-terms-and-definitions



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