The face of 'emotional wellbeing' and the reality of 'being' well.

That a smile means 'happy' and a down-turned mouth means feeling 'upset' would seem on the face of things to be undeniable and objective truths in our society. There are 'standard' ways to show a whole host of emotions, from angry to anxious, sadness to surprised. These are the faces on the emojis we send in messages, or those that adorn the flashcards that teach emotional literacy. All are part of our accepted societal narrative around emotions and how they feel and look. The actual truth of the matter is that feelings are uniquely experienced by all of us, and whilst there are facial movements that are widely linked to set emotional labels, there is also variability (Chen, 2023). This poses a dilemma to mental health services, where emotional wellbeing is a primary aim. If the expression of emotions is fluid, what does this mean for set interventions hitherto constructed around a standard framework for understanding emotions? If services embrace a more interpretivist perspective, what does that mean for wellbeing support?

The perception and expression of emotions is a nuanced process, one that is open to societal and cultural interpretations (Chen et al., 2024). Emotions, and how they are expressed, are also highly individual experiences and again socially mediated. If someone is happy, they may smile. But not always. Are the soldiers on parade devoid of happy thoughts, just because they must keep a still and neutral facial expression? Does anger always have to look like a frown, and furrowed brow? Have you ever experienced frustration, anxiety, or excitement, and held it in, as to show it would somehow feel out of place? Internal experiences of emotions and feelings have no less validity if their external presentation doesn't match up with a given societal expectation of how that emotion should look. Equally, showing an expression which looks to align with standardised facial movements for that experience, does not automatically mean that a person is experiencing the same emotion on the inside. 

 

The idea that our facial expressions may belie the nature of our internal experiences is often referred to as masking or camouflaging. Masking and camouflaging are in some ways universal actions, either conscious or unconscious, and at times even necessary, as with the example of the soldier above. They can also be ways of being or tools that help us navigate our social world. A consistent inconsistency and battle between the external face of our emotional state, and our internal experiences, uses up energy and can be exhausting, with exhaustion further linked to burnout (Phung et al., 2020). Masking may also be a trauma response to the invalidation, stigma and marginalisation of existing in a world where someone's being is repeatedly misunderstood (Rose, 2024); of continually trying to fight a corner and find a space to exist that is acceptable to others. In all respects masking and camouflaging are energy-heavy strategies, ones that can lead to mental health challenges, where energy is in short supply, or not rebalanced, and which can negatively impact mental wellbeing overall (Khudiakova et al., 2024).

 

The concept of energy management can be helpful beyond day-to-day societal and social navigation, in exploring individual emotional experiences. Emotions themselves may simply be 'a different language' (Prizant & Fitch, 2025). Difficulty interpreting, identifying and labelling emotions is known as 'alexithymia, and is often linked to difficulties with interoception (Mahler, 2025), with hypo-awareness or difficulties sensing internal sensations, and hyper-awareness or acute sensitivity to the same signals. The medium of energy takes away the additional layer of socially-mediated language, which can itself be a barrier, and provides an empowering tool for understanding and communicating emotional states. Reframing emotional regulation in terms of energy management (e.g. Autism Level UP!), allows conversations that look to environments, both external and internal, with a focus on what is going well and what is needed in the moment, instead of solely on what needs to be fixed. The vocabulary of energy allows individuals to explore and express their internal experiences in entirely personal and person-centred ways, fine-tuning and regaining balance, authenticity and agency. 

Embracing the uniqueness of emotional experience is crucial. Our sensory parsing of being in the world is a constant and individual dialogue, with no single 'best' or 'standard' way to process these experiences, either through words, or through non-spoken means. When a standard is imposed, we can frequently do harm by judging what we see against what we expect to see, because our focus is on the outside and we are using the lens of 'typical'. In so doing, we often fail to notice, or leave space to explore, what lies deeper down and within a person; the 'insiderness' of experiences (McGreevy et al., 2024). To support wellbeing, we must fully rethink the concept of difference, that we are already enough, where 'all parts of (a person) are welcome and (they) feel safe enough to show up exactly as (they) are' (Marino, 2025).

Care in this context is about valuing and validating an individual's authenticity, showing curiosity in individual experiences, and going beyond standard ways of expressing ourselves, tied to 'expected' words and non-spoken communication. We each embody our own experiences and the most natural language of all is our embodied expression of these experiences. We need to be open to, value and validate all the multi-modal ways individuals understand and express their internal world, to all the ways people 'language' (Brea-Spahn & Bauler, 2023). In this way we are working to discover and explore a person's unique communication identity. This involves providing safety and support to help individuals to accept their communication as part of who they are (Moulam, 2021), not enforcing a stereotypical and standard communication identity upon them. 

 

At a fundamental level, wellbeing involves autonomy, competence and relatedness (Self-determination theory). It is therefore of little surprise that positive self-identity is linked to wellbeing (Davies et al. 2024). A positive communication identity is integral to this. When we take time to walk alongside another and to show genuine interest in who they are, in how they experience the world and how they express their unique internal experiences beyond words; in gifs and memes and gestures and echolalia and so much more, we also make time in our own world to join with them. Our worlds connect. This lays the foundation for 'warm curiosity', built on 'common ground', and a resulting duality of involvement that automatically helps to reduce the Double Empathy gap (Williams et al., 2021).  Thus, if we take steps to move away from judgment, looking only at the 'face' of things, and make time for collaboration, connection and celebration, where we value equally individual uniqueness and all ways of being, we create a space where we can be well together. 

In summary, to be well, we need to rip up the rule book on how to be a standard human, and be the unique humans that we have always been all along. 

References

Brea-Spahn, M.R, & Bauler, C.V. (2023). Where Do You Anchor Your Beliefs? An Invitation to Interrogate Dominant Ideologies of Language and Languaging in Speech-Language Pathology. Language, Speech & Hearing Services in Schools. 54(3):675-687. https://doi.org/10.1044/2023_LSHSS-22-00135 & open access version https://www.researchgate.net/publication/370035437_Where_Do_You_Anchor_Your_Beliefs_An_Invitation_to_Interrogate_Dominant_Ideologies_of_Language_and_Languaging_in_Speech-Language_Pathology

Chen, C., Messinger, D., Chen, C., Yan, H., Duan, Y., Ince, R., Garrod, O., Schyns, P., Jack, R., (2024). Cultural facial expressions dynamically convey emotion category and intensity information. Current Biology. Volume 34, Issue 1, 213 - 223.e5. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cub.2023.12.001

Davies, J., Cooper, K., Killick, E., Sam, E., Healy, M., Thompson, G., Mandy, W., Redmayne, B., & Crane, L. (2024). Autistic identity: A systematic review of quantitative research. Autism Research, 17(5), 874–897. https://doi.org/10.1002/aur.3105

Khudiakova, V., Russell, E.,  Sowden-Carvalho, S., & Surtees, A. (2024). A systematic review and meta-analysis of mental health outcomes associated with camouflaging in autistic people. Research in Autism Spectrum Disorders, Volume 118. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.rasd.2024.102492

Mahler, K. (2025). Exploring Interoception and Alexithymia: How Are the Two Linked? Kelly Mahler. https://www.kelly-mahler.com/what-is-interoception/interoception-and-alexithymia/

Marino, R. (2025, Ferbuary 22). Autism in therapy: Monotropism, meditation and autistic flow. The British Psychological Society. The Pscyhologist. https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/autism-therapy-monotropism-meditation-and-autistic-flow

McGreevy, E. et al. (2024). An Experience Sensitive Approach to Care With and for Autistic Children and Young People in Clinical Services. Journal of Humanistic Psychology, 0(0). https://doi.org/10.1177/00221678241232442

Moulam, B. (2021, October 19). AAC and identity. Beth Moulam: Passion for potential. https://www.bethmoulam.com/aac-and-identity/

Phung, J., Penner, M., Pirlot, C., Welch, C. (2021). What I Wish You Knew: Insights on Burnout, Inertia, Meltdown, and Shutdown From Autistic Youth. Frontiers in Psychology. 3;12:741421. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.741421

Prizant, B & Finch, D. (Hosts). On ENERGY, A Framework for Supporting Emotional and Physiological Regulation: A Discussion with Dr. Amy Laurent and Dr. Jacquelyn Fede (No. 124)  [Audio podcast episode]. Uniquely Human: The Podcast. https://uniquelyhuman.com/2025/01/31/energy-emotional-regulation-amy-laurent-jacquelyn-fede/

Rose, K. (n.d).  Autistic Masking and Autistic Burnout. The Autistic Advocate. https://theautisticadvocate.com/autistic-masking/

Williams, G.L, Wharton, T. & Jagoe, C. (2021). Mutual (Mis)understanding: Reframing Autistic Pragmatic “Impairments” Using Relevance Theory. Frontiers in Psychology. 12:616664. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2021.616664 https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.616664/full?field&journalName=Frontie

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